| Okay, so I cursed(!) yesterday, in church(!) at my husband(!) in front of my baby(!) It was terrible. A guy was singing Via Dolorosa, and he had a video to go with it. The song is about the crucifixion, as was the video. Kaitlin and Benny were sitting behind me, and I see Kaitlin's eyes as big as saucers, filling up with tears. Kaitlin loves Jesus. She did not like seeing people being mean to him. She gets upset if her cartoons get hurt or hurt feelings or even dirty. Sometimes she cries until the situation is resolved, even if that means through a commercial break or until Mommy fast forwards the video to show her that there is a happy ending. (We only watch happy ending shows.) It has gotten better recently because I tell her that cartoons don't really get hurt or dirty, but Jesus is real, and she knows that, and he really did get hurt. She has 2 children's Bibles, and one pop-up Easter story, but they don't end with Jesus on the cross, they end up with Jesus going back to his friends (disciples) and going to heaven to live with God. Happy ending. There was no happy ending coming on the Via Dolorosa video, so I had Benny take her out. Then she cried because she was missing the movie and she wanted to see the happy ending. Benny was oblivious to all this, he wasn't looking at her face, and he doesn't watch much TV with her and he was in no way helping or even noticing that she needed help. So in my panic of my little girl hurt and crying, I say to my husband "What the hell?" Great thing to say in the church lobby. I was mortified. Thank God Jesus forgives. Also, I've been completely unreasonably unhappy with our current living situation. We live in an apartment which can be noisy. But we used to live in a one-bedroom apartment. I was so happy when we moved to a 2 bedroom. And before that I rented rooms, and I was so happy when I moved to an apartment and had a whole place to myself. And before that, I lived in lovely, spacious places in Illinois and Alabama and I was so unhappy. I just need to remember to be thankful. And not to curse in church. And to call Father Harris and ask him where he got the claymation Jesus videos we used to watch in my Gospel of John class in college. I'm pretty sure they all ended well. God bless you. Happy Memorial Day. |
